FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
May 25, 2010…Lutherville, MD …Chronic Pain Anonymous is a 12-Step fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and to help others recover from chronic pain and chronic illness. The only requirement for membership in CPA is a desire to recover from the emotional, physical, and spiritual debilitation of chronic pain and chronic illness and a willingness to help others to do the same.
From time to time Chronic Pain Anonymous members write stories about how they have found recovery from a chronic pain or chronic illness. The following is one such story.
http://www.chronicpainanonymous.org/
Jan’s Story
Chronic Pain Anonymous has changed my life.
In the spring of 2008, after a year of suffering and medical tests showing nothing wrong, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. My pain was extreme and I was often in tears due to increased pain resulting from continuing to try to live the life I was used to living for over 50 years. I didn’t know what else to do. I had massages, chiropractic care, a good medical doctor, tried many pain prescriptions, but there was little relief. To suddenly, unexpectedly change from being independent and capable of living what I considered a normal life to being unable to keep up with my responsibilities and customary recreation was devastating. I was miserable. Driving home from work most days I was in tears because of the pain. I would go home and collapse for about 30 minutes then drag myself up so that I could help make dinner. If I tried to mop a floor I hurt so much for days afterwards that I could hardly believe it. My life was brief intervals of resting so that I could get back up and work or do whatever I needed to do.
I ran after any promising possibility of help or hope and saw a lot of money go down the drain as I tried anything that might help. Friends and family offered me lots of advice. Soon I had more options to try than I had time to try them and I began to doubt that anything would make a difference.
I heard of CPA and made my first contact with someone who was a member. She spoke so glowingly of how CPA had changed her life from one of misery and suffering to a wonderful, full life, that I was instantly intrigued. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I seriously considered the possibility that this group could somehow magically take away my illness and pain, that they had discovered a wonderful secret. My first steps into CPA were taken with the idea that maybe they had found some miraculous way of healing, maybe mind over matter or positive thinking, or something. Part of me knew that it wasn’t likely, but another part of me longed for this to be the case. This is how I began my adventure with this wonderful program.
As you may have guessed, there was no magical miraculous method of healing my body. There was something equally as wonderful, though, and maybe even better. I began a journey into learning to trust my Higher Power, take care of myself, and to much more that has resulted in a fantastic life!
The first thing I remember that made a big difference in my life is the 3 A’s: awareness, acceptance, and action. Awareness was watching and feeling what my body felt like and how certain activities made me feel. Acceptance was the next step. This did NOT mean that I gave up and decided that I was ill and in pain and that was all there was to it, there was nothing I could do. It meant looking at reality and seeing what was. By accepting this “new normal” I was then able to move to the next A, action. Because I accepted how I felt and how my body had changed I was able to take appropriate action. The constant struggle to keep up with my former lifestyle only led to more emotional and physical pain. Some examples of action for me were giving up my position with my company and moving to a lower, part-time position, getting help with housework and learning to accept a home not as clean as I would really like, taking 10 – 20 trips from my car to carry groceries into the house instead of 2 or 3 because I could not carry much weight at one time, or alternately, having someone else unload the groceries, learning to say no to things I used to do such as helping family move, babysit grandchildren by myself, and have others share the burden of holiday family dinners. I had to say goodbye to bicycling for miles and be content with mild walking for exercise. These decisions along with many more along the way have resulted in much less pain.
These changes were not easy. It was wrenching to give up my position at work because I had worked so hard to attain it, and it was difficult to give up the income and the satisfaction I felt by contributing financially to our household. It was surprising how much of my identity was tied up in my job and what I did in life. I struggled with guilt because of this and also feeling that I was no longer carrying my weight and doing my fair share in many areas of my life. Saying no was difficult and still is, but it is getting easier because it just makes good sense. These decisions and choices were good because I was doing what my mind and body needed but they were not good because I began to feel useless and worthless, which brings me to another wonderful lesson I am learning through CPA: I am just as valuable ill as I was healthy. God loves me just as much now as he did before. I am a human being, not a human doing. I can still contribute to this world and my family. I’ve just had to learn new ways of doing so. This is turning into a great adventure of discovery.