Studio City, California

I was diagnosed with RSD approximately two years ago after having six unsuccessful surgeries for what was considered bilateral carpal and cubital tunnel syndrome. I wept when I found out that the pain I was experiencing had a name. However, that has been the only moment of clarity.

My pain management has been through the work comp system and let me tell you it is BAD! I was medicated as if I were a terminally ill patient and when I tried to get help to come out of that narcotic fog, I was completely ostracized by my doctor who now gets a grimace on his face every time he sees me. Because I took charge of my meds, I am just too much trouble. Now, when I need a new medication or an increase on the old one, my doctor says “no” and refuses to provide any alternatives.

I am ready to lose it because the pain is terrible now and since I have not worked in seven years, I cannot afford my own health insurance.

Most importantly, I do not have a family that is willing to understand what this disease is and what it does. I come from Old World Ukranian stock and you just do not show pain or talk about it. I am extremely verbal, sensitive and empathic and I am a strange mix for my family. My mother died about 13 years ago and we were very close - she was my friend and confidant. Although I have been blessed to have these years to get to know my father better, I just want my mommy on some days. Those days are the hardest for me.

I know that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger so I am ready to put on my comfortable walking shoes and take this journey with all of you. I am certain that I will learn a lot and also have the chance to get to know some wonderful people.